How to State Your Preferences Without Being Rude
Clients often either say nothing, and get a poor match, or say too much in the wrong register, and get ignored. There is a straightforward middle.
Preferences are expected
Agencies exist partly to match. Stating what you are looking for — appearance, personality, languages, experience with a particular format — is the normal function of the enquiry, not an imposition.
Frame it as a preference, not a demand
The difference is entirely in the wording. Asking whether anyone on the roster speaks fluent English and enjoys dinner bookings reads as a client who knows what he wants. A list of physical specifications delivered as requirements reads as someone who will be difficult on the night.
The practical test
If you would not say it aloud to a receptionist at a hotel, rephrase it. That single filter resolves most of it.
What is useful to state
Language ability, the format you have in mind, the setting, roughly how long, and one or two things that genuinely matter to you. Beyond about three preferences you are narrowing to nothing and will simply be told nobody is available.
Physical preferences
Entirely legitimate to have and to state. Keep them brief and neutral in wording. Note that photographs already answer most of these questions, so a long description usually means you have not looked at the roster.
What not to do
Explicit demands in a first message. Comparisons between companions. Anything that reads as inspecting stock rather than choosing company. These get enquiries deprioritised, and the client rarely finds out why.
Asking about limits
Asking what someone is comfortable with is reasonable and better done through the agency at booking than at the door. Pushing after an answer is given is the line, and crossing it ends bookings and reputations.
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